Together with your colleagues, you want to bring the company to the next level. What is the best way to help each other with everyone’s effectiveness? With the 4 E’s you can give constructive feedback, in which you focus on improvement and on your shared goals.
1. E = Event
Describe the context and someone’s behaviour. Stick to the facts. You use only observations, no interpretations. Sentences often start with “I see that you…” or “I heard you saying that…”
For example: “I heard you saying that you do not believe in my idea to change our project’s strategy. You frowned and shook your head. Your voice got louder.”
Check your observation. Does your colleague recognize what you’re describing?
2. E = Emotion
Tell what the direct impact is on you. How does this behaviour affect how you feel? Sentences often start with “That makes me feel…” or “I find that…”
For example: “It made me feel insecure about my idea. That’s why I find it hard to continue sharing my thoughts.”
Pause. Allow him or her some time to think about what you’ve just said. If your colleague does not react, ask to do so. What was your colleague’s intention when he or she behaved in this way?
3. E = Effect
Point out the effect on your shared goals. How does this affect the organisation? Sentences often start with “I have the impression that…” or “I noticed that…”
For example: “I have the impression that it affects the team as well. I noticed that not many ideas are being shared during our meetings. I worry about our goal to keep on improving our workflow.”
Explore if you can both see the same consequence. Did your colleague notice this as well?
4. E = Engagement
Start discussing the optimal path to better results. What is it, your colleague can change in his or her behaviour in order to positively influence the situation? Be as specific as possible, by formulating the actions SMART. Sentences often start with “How do you think that…” or “I think it will help if…”
For example: “Next Thursday’s meeting if I invite our co-workers to share ideas, I think it will help if you first listen and subsequently thank them for the input.”
Check if you’re on the same page by asking a summary of the points that you have agreed upon.
Enjoy your practice and the results of better conversations!
